(Audio version below) How do you announce to the world that you failed and escape the judgement of their thoughts?

Well, here we go.

I tried something new. In the height of a pandemic. I went back out into the work force after being a stay at home mom with a side hustle. We even had to hire a nanny to come in and watch the kids because of the blended learning situation, thanks Covid.I gave it my H E A R T.

I walked into an office full of new colleagues trying not to be frozen with anxiety and social awkwardness. I kept my head down for the first week or so while I was still training. Learning the ropes of what it takes to be a leasing consultant and navigate the current rental market in Qatar. I picked up the damn phone and made so many more phone calls then I had in my entire life, all while swallowing my anxiety until I could fake the confidence of picking up the phone without wanting to throw up. I would come home crying. Relieved that the day was over and overwhelmed with everything I was now having to juggle.

I spent many nights in viewings. Sometimes with demanding clients that insisted on a later evening viewing and then would show up late. Or others who wouldn’t show after taking my time to Uber there, but not finding out until 15 min after their scheduled viewing time. I spent countless time informing clients of the current market situation where they were just SURE they could get a bigger, better view for cheaper plus 2 months free (LOL, not the case, dream on.)

Ironically, my favourite parts of the experience were also the things I had first feared the most. The independence of leaving the kids at home, and making new friends and the social aspect of communicating with adults in the office. Everyone was so kind and helpful. I slowly started to feel like I fit in.

In the end, my heart just wasn’t happy there.

It was the support of my husband and my mom who I would break down and cry to, that kept reminding me, it’s ok to give up and that I have another talent I could use.

I could go on and explain the reasons why I quit, but I’ll allow myself the peace of keeping those reasons to myself. Boundaries are the best left unexplained.

So I guess I’ve come full circle.

If I didn’t fail, I wouldn’t have grown through that experience.

Now I’m choosing to spread my roots with my photography business. Which actually opens up a whole new experience for me being in a different country… but at the same time, that question looms in the back of my head. “But, what if I fail?” It’s a skill I’ve always kept on the back burner. But here I am, coming in hot bringing it to fruition.

I guess I’ve got to get my name out there somehow, right?

So please, enjoy the photos of my children, whilst I manage to build my clientele.

xx Kerry-Lee

Images by Kerry-Lee Ann Photography.

You can see more: www.instagram.com/kerryleeannphotography